Apocalypse Not

By Betsy Bradford

You can't imagine how excited I am for Friday to be over. In large part, this is because I'll be on break after that (yay!). More importantly, we can all stop talking about the apocalypse for a while.

Just last night, I heard someone say, "Let's just hope the Mayans are wrong!" That's about the most ignorant thing one could say. I say, in fact, let's hope the Mayans were right! Why? Because the Mayans did not predict that the world would end in 2012! There, I said it.

As I understand it, the source of this 2012 nonsense comes from the Mayan Long Count calendar, in which our current Great Cycle (over 5,000 years long) is ending on December 21, 2012. Basically, that means that 12/21/12 is the end date of a really, really long year. It's kind of like how my wall calendar runs out on December 31, but the world will still be there the next day.

On the contrary, the Mayans celebrate the end of the Great Cycle and view it as a time of prosperity. The earth has survived another 1,872,000 days. That's pretty awesome! I could use a good dose of prosperity right now. Bring it on, Mayans!

Add to that, we're not even positive that December 21 is the actual end of the Great Cycle! Scholars have put forth a few other possibilities, including one back in last August. If those scholars are right, then the "apocalypse" has already happened.

And don't get me started on Nostradamus! Have you ever read any Nostradamus? I mean real Nostradamus. That poor prophet has had more things misattributed to him than probably anyone. If you've ever received a quotation in your email claiming to be something the Big N said, dollars to donuts, he did not! Sometimes, it's from a different source. Sometimes, the original poster is just being a dick. Either way, check your sources.

As for things Nostradamus actually said, they are extremely vague, so much so that they're almost useless as predictions in advance of the actual event. Simply put, he didn't say anything anywhere that was explicitly about 2012, never mind a specific date. You can pull out fragments and insist that they presage the end of the world, and then insist that they refer to this Friday, but seriously, can you call that proof? Please.

So what are my plans for Friday? I don't know yet, but I'm sure as hell not going to be in a bunker. I'm just going to proceed with my week as if there will be another, and another, to follow it. Worst case scenario, I'm wrong. And then we'll all be dead and this document will probably be destroyed when all the servers crash, so who gives a fuck?